Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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