so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
birth control should be required to get into college
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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