woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You dont lie about slip and slides
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
