Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
