i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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