captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
