He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
