I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
