guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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