Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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