tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
