Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
