I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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