I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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