The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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