Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
