I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
