You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
