He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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