the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
