Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
