I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
