my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
