Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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