Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
