Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
