You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
