You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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