In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
