What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You are the jesus of drinking
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
