I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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