Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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