$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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