the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This is the high leading the old right now
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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