He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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