You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Never joke about your clitoris.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
