you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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