the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
3pm strippers are depressing
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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