That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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