THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
