I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
