I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
