I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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