Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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