im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im holly from the hills drunk
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
