so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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