I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
