laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
