turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
