I wanna passion pit in your ass
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
