WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
