fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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